


The Penrose Steps

by InsaneHam



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Not Steve Friendly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 19:03:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21433186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneHam/pseuds/InsaneHam
Summary: Just a short of Steve being more of an idiot than usual.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 232
Collections: Best Team Iron Man





	The Penrose Steps

**Author's Note:**

> Remember, this is only an alternate impression of Steve. It is not canon, and isn’t really linked back to the actual Steve displayed in the movies. So anyway, enjoy!

Steve paced impatiently around the conference room, occasionally glancing at the big screen. The arguments and anger piled up in his head, climbing up his throat until it threatened to burst out. Finally he slammed his fists into the conference table and shouted, “Hurry up!”

The screen crackled to life, featuring a smiling woman against an office background. She regarded Steve eagerly and chirped, “Hello, Mr Rogers. I am Agent Penrose. It is my pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“You’re twenty minutes late,” Steve snarled, trying to keep his voice civil. It wouldn’t do any good to chase off another liaison if it wasn’t necessary. 

“My apologies for upsetting you, Mr Rogers.“

Rogers’ ruffled feathers soothed a bit by the young and calming voice. She was probably new and didn’t know her way around yet. He’d make a point of complaining to her superiors about child labour.

“It’s alright,” he assured. She perked up.

“What would you like to discuss?”

“Well,” he said. “First, about Wanda.”

“Miss Maximoff?”

“Yes, but she prefers Wanda. Call me Steve, it makes me feel more comfortable.”

“Okay Steve,” Penrose smiled agreeably. He relaxed. Penrose was much easier to get along with than any of the other agents he had met. “What would you like to discuss? About Wanda?”

“Right.” He leaned forward, then backed off when it occurred he might be scaring her. “Wanda’s been asking for new clothing for a while now but none of your predecessors did anything.”

“Am I to understand you request a fund for Wanda’s accessory items?”

“Not accessories,” Steve assured hastily. “You see, she was just a kid when she was recruited by HYDRA so she deserves to have a childhood now.”

“I see. So you are requesting a fund for monetary items.”

“Something simpler.”

“Requesting a fund for luxury items?”

“Not luxury,” Steve snapped. “This is repayment.”

“Requesting a fund for compensation items?”

“That works.”

Penrose nodded and turned to the side. The unmistakable clacking of a keyboard rang through the room. “Unfortunately, SHIELD has refused the request to fund for compensation items.”

“Why not?” he growled.

“My apologies for upsetting you, Steve,” Penrose responded. 

“It’s okay,” he assured. “Just... why?”

“According to my log, it says Wanda is not a child anymore.”

“But she’s had her childhood taken away from her!”

“Wanda is not a child anymore,” she repeated. Not for the first time, Steve wondered if they were choosing agents based on blind stubbornness.

“Listen to me. While she might not be a child physically, mentally she’s matured slower because of the atrocities committed under HYDRA’S hand. At that time, HYDRA was a part of SHIELD. Therefore, SHIELD owes Wanda.”

“I do not understand.”

Steve tried not to slam his head into the table.

“SHIELD owes Wanda whatever she wants!”

“Request to fund Wanda’s luxury items?”

“Not luxury!” Steve roared. Penrose wilted. 

“My apologies for upsetting you, Steve.”

Steve breathed through his teeth. “It’s okay. Let’s start again...”

“How long before he realizes, do you think?” One agent snickered. The other sipped his coffee, smirking amusedly.

“At the rate this conversation is going? Forever. And thank god for that. If I had to deal with him for another day, I might’ve shot him.”

“A few agents considered it,” the first agreed. “It’s good that we called you in before it got out of hand. Though I have to say, the programs brilliant. Guess you’re not called the problem solver for nothing.”

“Hey, it’s what I do.” He shrugged. “Well, I’ve had enough of watching him trying to walk over Penrose. Coffee?”

“Why not?”

Two years later...

“LISTEN TO ME, GODDAMMIT!”

“My apologies for upsetting you, Steve.”


End file.
